


what we've said

by professorkumquat



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Character Death, M/M, angst lol, but it's not important tbh, sort of au too gon has his nen back, sorta one sided killugon i guess??, you don't have to see it as romantic tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 19:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5261045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/professorkumquat/pseuds/professorkumquat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are many things that Killua cannot say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what we've said

                “Gon?” Killua picks up his cellphone, seeing a number he hadn’t seen in months. The number of his once best friend, the number of someone he had shared many adventures with, the number of the love of his life.

                “You haven’t called in ages, what’s up?” _I miss you_ , Killua does not say.

                “Killua!” The name is practically chirped, said in the way only Gon could. “Yeah, it’s been forever, huh? I’m actually calling to tell you it’s going to be even longer now, heh… I’m going to the Dark Continent with Ging, you see!”

                “Oh? Isn’t that dangerous?” He loves danger, Killua knows this. But, spite himself, he hopes to trickle a seed of fear in Gon’s mind that keeps him from leaving.

                “Mm! But I’ve gotten my nen back! And even so, Ging will be with me! I’m really excited!”

                “Well, don’t do something stupid and get yourself hurt you idiot!” _Don’t go_ , Killua does not say. _You’re going to get hurt_ , Killua does not say.

                “Hey, I’m not that dumb Killua!” He could practically hear the pout in Gon’s voice. The way he’d cross his arms and puff his cheeks out.

                “Stuuuupid! I bet you that you won’t even get an inch into the place before you’re all ‘ _I wish Killua was here’_ and ‘ _I need Killua to save me_!’” _Take me with you_ , Killua does not say.

                “As if! I’ll prove it to you Killua! I’m going on this expedition and when I come back you’ll see just how strong I am! But I gotta go now, Auntie Mito needs my help with something! I wonder if they have a postal service… if so I’ll definitely send you a letter! Bye, Killua!” And without another word, Gon hangs up the phone.

                _Goodbye Gon_ , Killua does not say.

                When Killua sees Gon next he seems stronger than last. His arms had grown thicker and his shoulders broader. Thick eyelashes were set on smooth, freckled cheeks and hair was as wild as ever. His arms were crossed over his chest, fingers still calloused from the adventurous life the other young man lived.

                When Killua sees Gon next, he’s lying dead in a casket.

                Aunt Mito’s sobs could be heard no matter where you walked off to (not that anyone minded, she wasn’t the only one crying). Leorio was just as loud really, big crocodile tears falling from his eyes as he looks desperately at the Island Boy.

                _He’s only sleeping_ , Killua does not say. For he knows it’s not true.

                Killua stands next to the casket, a hand gently placed over Gon’s cold one. He remembers once when Gon’s hand had been warm. Just like the boy was, sunny and warm and full of life.

                _I love you_ , Killua cannot say. A sob catches in his throat and he has to bite on his tongue and squeeze his eyes shut to be able to hold his composure.

                _I need you_ , Killua cannot say. Leorio is pulling Killua back, making him sit down as they begin to close the casket.

                _Don’t leave_ , Killua cannot say. People begin to file out of the island’s church, Ging and Leorio grabbing the casket as they take it out to the car.

                “ _I love you_.” Killua sobs, falling to his knees.

                “ _I need you_.” He buries his face into his hands, body shaking as only he is left in the building.

                “ _Don’t leave_.” He pleads, his voice hoarse and words catching.

                “Goodbye, Gon.” Killua says.

**Author's Note:**

> um so sorry if this is utter shit. it was just a little drabble that i typed up while working on some other stuff. it's been forever since i've written any fanfictions so i wanted 2 get something up!! i'm working on a much longer piece that isn't as angsty and will hopefully be loads better!! kudos and comments are very much appreciated!!


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